Homebirths are on the rise. At least, that’s what an article I read online stated. It seems that maybe doctors are softening their opinions on it a little. Really? Because the arguments I was reading against home birthing were exactly the same ones I read back in the Nineties when I had my babies at home. With special emphasis on the safety issue which is the card they always seem to play.
Let me tell you a few stories, all of them true, all of them mine. My first baby…waters break at home but labor doesn’t start…call doctor, he says wait a few hours then go in…do that…nurse does litmus paper test and says that my water did NOT break…o.k. something felt like a ballon popping inside me and gushed at least a quart of liquid out that was not urine but..what do I know…. So staff proceeds on the info that waters have not broken…rolled into labor room when it is time…nurse gets out long thin crochet hook to “break” my waters with…doctor stops her to do manual exam… he exclaims “that is not the water bag bulging, it is the baby’s head, he’s coming down the birth canal!!!”…baby born fifteen minutes later. There could have been significant damage if they had tried to “break” my waters.
My second baby, my contractions are erratic but getting pretty intense, I go to hospital…nurse examines me…dilation not what doctor would like to see…she doesn’t even come in…tells nurse to send me home…when I complain doctor tells me on phone that I ‘m not really in labor… the contractions just SEEM intense…go home, eat something, take a warm bath to relax and get some sleep. I’m crying because she won’t listen to me. Forty-five minutes later in the middle of a freezing Maine winter night, my son is born in the front seat of our Ford Escort under a street light. My husband delivers him.
Babies number 3,4,5,and 6 are born at home with amazing midwives who listened to me, worked with me and monitored the unborn babies way more than my first two were. It’s peaceful, relaxed, and comfortable. I can’t even begin to compare them with my other births. It was beautiful and calm.
Baby 7 is on the way. I’m much older and more at risk because of the multiple births. We opt for the hospital again. I’m thinking with all the experience we’ve had birthing babies this should be a whole different game. Wrong! Again, no one believes I’m in true labor until a nurse wanders in and catches me on the floor on all fours panting through a contraction. She decides to admit me…yeah…but I’m in transition labor at this point. I tell her she needs to call the doctor. She replies that he is not too far away and please let her know when I feel the urge to push. When I can catch my breath I growl “that will be too late”…she leaves the room with a patronizing smile but returns with another nurse in a few minutes after my husband hollered out the door, “I can see the baby’s head”…the nurses deliver my little girl.
Baby 8 is a different hospital and different doctor but same old story…sent home from hospital because I’m not in “real” labor…contractions are erratic but registering 10’s on the pain scale… almost give birth on my front lawn but husband shoves me in to car…hospital is three minutes away…baby born ten minutes after we get there.
Baby 9 was a c-section because her umbilical cord was caught between her head and my cervix. Every contraction limited her oxygen. I was thankful for a hospital and for the procedure but if I had been planning a home birth my midwives would have caught this in plenty of time to get there.
So my experience has been that home birthing is safer but I don’t think it is the place as much as the midwives. They listen to women in labor. They know that no two women labor the same and no two pregnancies are ever the same. They are much more flexible in that way. None of my “bad” birthing would have happened if the caregivers had listened and believed in ME and my ability to feel what was going on. That’s what needs to change to truly make births safe, sane and happy. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Let me tell you a few stories, all of them true, all of them mine. My first baby…waters break at home but labor doesn’t start…call doctor, he says wait a few hours then go in…do that…nurse does litmus paper test and says that my water did NOT break…o.k. something felt like a ballon popping inside me and gushed at least a quart of liquid out that was not urine but..what do I know…. So staff proceeds on the info that waters have not broken…rolled into labor room when it is time…nurse gets out long thin crochet hook to “break” my waters with…doctor stops her to do manual exam… he exclaims “that is not the water bag bulging, it is the baby’s head, he’s coming down the birth canal!!!”…baby born fifteen minutes later. There could have been significant damage if they had tried to “break” my waters.
My second baby, my contractions are erratic but getting pretty intense, I go to hospital…nurse examines me…dilation not what doctor would like to see…she doesn’t even come in…tells nurse to send me home…when I complain doctor tells me on phone that I ‘m not really in labor… the contractions just SEEM intense…go home, eat something, take a warm bath to relax and get some sleep. I’m crying because she won’t listen to me. Forty-five minutes later in the middle of a freezing Maine winter night, my son is born in the front seat of our Ford Escort under a street light. My husband delivers him.
Babies number 3,4,5,and 6 are born at home with amazing midwives who listened to me, worked with me and monitored the unborn babies way more than my first two were. It’s peaceful, relaxed, and comfortable. I can’t even begin to compare them with my other births. It was beautiful and calm.
Baby 7 is on the way. I’m much older and more at risk because of the multiple births. We opt for the hospital again. I’m thinking with all the experience we’ve had birthing babies this should be a whole different game. Wrong! Again, no one believes I’m in true labor until a nurse wanders in and catches me on the floor on all fours panting through a contraction. She decides to admit me…yeah…but I’m in transition labor at this point. I tell her she needs to call the doctor. She replies that he is not too far away and please let her know when I feel the urge to push. When I can catch my breath I growl “that will be too late”…she leaves the room with a patronizing smile but returns with another nurse in a few minutes after my husband hollered out the door, “I can see the baby’s head”…the nurses deliver my little girl.
Baby 8 is a different hospital and different doctor but same old story…sent home from hospital because I’m not in “real” labor…contractions are erratic but registering 10’s on the pain scale… almost give birth on my front lawn but husband shoves me in to car…hospital is three minutes away…baby born ten minutes after we get there.
Baby 9 was a c-section because her umbilical cord was caught between her head and my cervix. Every contraction limited her oxygen. I was thankful for a hospital and for the procedure but if I had been planning a home birth my midwives would have caught this in plenty of time to get there.
So my experience has been that home birthing is safer but I don’t think it is the place as much as the midwives. They listen to women in labor. They know that no two women labor the same and no two pregnancies are ever the same. They are much more flexible in that way. None of my “bad” birthing would have happened if the caregivers had listened and believed in ME and my ability to feel what was going on. That’s what needs to change to truly make births safe, sane and happy. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
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