Eating Crow

While waiting in a parking lot this morning, I saw a big, black crow fly and land on the pavement not too far from my car. He had a big white piece of some type of food in his mouth. There was another smaller black crow standing about a foot away from him. I expected a fight but the smaller crow just stood quietly watching him drop his food and begin eating. It occurred to me that “ it” might be a “she” and I wondered if they were a couple.

After a minute or two, he broke off some of the food and hopped towards her. She patiently stood by and politely accepted and ate the offering. This was so unexpected and unlike other similar events I have witnessed that I became sure that they were indeed mates. He hopped back to the food and again broke off a piece and returned to her. He went back, ate a few bites himself and headed back to share with her. This little ritual continued until the food was gone.

During this time, another crow ventured by. He left after observing the couple for a few minutes. Again, there was no fighting , no loud caws, nothing that I usually associate with crows. When the food was gone, the couple flew off quietly. I was stunned.

I was also very moved. Yes, I know that I'm crazy but it was a beautiful, romantic, touching scene. It was a demonstration of patience, kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness and caring. All attributes that are essential to a good marriage. The most outstanding attribute these crows showed was unselfishness. I happen to believe that selfishness is at the root of most if not all divorces. And troubled relationships of any kind...friends, neighbors,family, etc.

Webster's defines selfish as “concerned only to satisfy one's own desires and prepared to sacrifice the feelings, needs etc. of others in order to do so .” Wow! That kind of says it all right there, doesn't it?

Desires come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe we want (desire) to be right all the time. Maybe we want things to be done our way. Maybe we want to have things that we can't afford but we don't care what kind of strain that puts on the budget. Maybe we want our shortcomings to be overlooked but we want those around us to fix all of theirs. Maybe we always want to do the things we like and we want our partner or friend to do them too, forgetting that they might have their own idea of fun. Maybe we want control of the TV remote all the time. Maybe we think a magic genie follows around us and picks up our dirty socks, dishes, trash, etc. I think you are getting the idea.

Relationships can not hold up to the ever present pressure of selfishness. Instead, why don't we all strive to follow the lesson of the crows and learn to share, be kind and thoughtful, and to place the well being of others before our own. If birds can do it, I know we all can. That's the view from my side of the street, what's yours?