Choose to Love

“Each and everyday we have a choice, we have a choice to either love that person in front of us or not. It is the relationships that you build over the years that is the most important thing in life. Everything else is just an illusion.” This is a statement made recently by a dying man. It is one of the most true things ever uttered.

In my teens, I read a book called “On Death and Dying” by Dr. Kubler-Ross. She had dedicated her life to learn as much as possible about the process of dying. Her research changed many things about the way doctors viewed terminal cases as well as setting a standard that helped clarify the grieving process. It was a remarkable book.

One of the most valuable lessons in the book for me was that when someone knew their days were numbered they took great care to spend those last few precious hours carefully. They chose to use the time left to them in meaningful ways. They shared feelings, thoughts and stories that had never been shared. They looked back and regretted the things that had diverted them from family or friend time. They all seemed to realize the truth of what was important. Not one of those she had interviewed said they regretted not spending more time at work. Most of them wished they had spent more time with their loved ones.

This hit me hard at the time. I had recently lost a beloved grandmother. She had helped my single mom raise me. We were close but the last year of her life found me busy with high school, activities and dates. She had not been ill. There was no reason to think she wouldn't be around for awhile. And being a typical self centered teenager I had not made much time for her in my life. Then she was gone.

My regrets were overwhelming. I realized the hard way that nothing I had been spending my time on was more important than the time I could have been spending with her. The time now lost to me for the rest of my life.

The years have seen me losing important relationships for many reasons. The holes that are left by those losses can never be filled. Be grateful for the relationships you have. Tell people you love them. Make time for them. Because we never know when that opportunity will be lost to us. That's the view from my side of the street, what's yours?