We have been knee deep in birthdays around here. I’m about to turn 53. I have reached that stage of the game where I have to admit that the years left to me are less than the years I have been here. I have a very sweet (delusional) baby sister who says I’m still just middle-aged. God bless her but how many 106 year olds do you know running around?
I remember anxiously awaiting my 30th birthday. Somehow I thought that being in my thirties would signify that I was a “grownup”. I loved my thirties. I had “arrived”. Physically I felt great. Spiritually I was strong. I thought that I had learned so many things.
I look back now and think I didn’t know squat! The best and the worst were still yet to come. Here are some of the things I’ve learned:
1. I wish that I had known that the body I disliked in my early years was going to be the body I wish I still had in my 50’s. Lesson learned- accept the body you have now because you’ll wish you still had it when you turn 80.
2. Having wrinkles does NOT mean you won’t still get pimples- an unfairness I intend to talk to God about when I see him.
3. Don’t worry about how you look to your husband when you are naked. Since you will probably be the only naked woman in the room –you look darn good to him!
4. Not being able to see things close up without reading glasses is a good thing. We can’t clearly see our wrinkles and graying hair- a blessing I intend to thank God for when I see him.
5. At a certain age, your body reminds you of every injury or injustice it ever suffered! Payback is a b…. lesson learned- treat your body with great care. That broken leg you had from a ski accident WILL come back to haunt you later on in life.
6. God has an amazing way of keeping us older people humble. He stops us from being insufferable know it alls with a little thing called memory loss.
7. Babies and toddlers are for the young not the young at heart- getting off the couch and up the stairs to investigate their activities takes me ALOT longer than it used to.
8. It is impossible to talk about my private business with the hot doctor who is younger than half of my children!
9. It’s also impossible for someone to push me into something I don’t want- I’ve survived half a century, I can survive you! (I realized this when someone was tailgating me in an effort to make me speed up. I slowed down!)
10. No matter how bad, dark, impossible or never ending a situation might seem, there is always an end. The light does shine again. Time may not heal all wounds but it certainly does ease them.
So, here’s to the next half century- if I learn even half of what I’ve learned so far I’ll be happy. If only I can remember it all!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Good Old Days
One day many years ago, I was washing dishes when suddenly a picture popped into my head. I saw a much older me sitting in a rocking chair telling the grandchildren gathered at my feet a story about the “old days”. The impression came into my mind that my stories would be to them what “The Little House on the Prairie” books were to me-a true account of a life that seemed so very far away. At the time this occurred I was not so sure that things would be THAT different. Boy was I wrong!
Fast forward to Martin Luther King Day, 2011-my youngest two daughters have the day off from school. We were discussing who he was and why we celebrate him. They had the general idea but as our discussion grew I realized how foreign it all seemed to them. They had a hard time believing that a person’s skin color made that much difference!
My youngest daughter saw her first working record player when she was almost 4. She couldn’t wait to tell her siblings about “the giant CD that dropped down and went round and round and round. Music came out!”
She also had a rather philosophical view when her favorite movie disappeared. It was “Phantom of the Opera” and her brothers had hidden it. They swore they would go nuts if they had to hear it again. She was concerned for a day but decided it would be alright. She said she would wait until #2 came out.
She saw a phone that she loved at an antique shop but she couldn’t figure out how to use the rotary dial. I tried to explain how it worked.
We talked recently about the “intruder drills” that their school holds regularly. In my time, it was “nuclear bomb” drills. We were instructed to get under our desks and curl up in a ball when the siren went off. We were so ill informed we actually thought that would help!
My daughters are growing up with laptops, cell phones, special effects, 100 channels, laser printing and facebook. I grew up with computers that occupied whole buildings, carphones that only the rich and famous owned, no blood movie murders, 3 channels, crayons and letters to Grandma.
I grew up in a world that used words like nigger, spic, drago, retard, homo, commie, etc. My daughters don’t know any of these words. They know about worldy things that I didn’t know about until I was married with kids.
But I also grew up in a world where kids trick or treated by themselves. We could spend all day Saturday running around town by ourselves. We played at the park, went to the movies and had lunch at one of our many friends. Most moms stayed home and all of them looked after us. Summers were endless days of leisure and fun. We knew no fear.
So, I guess “the good old days” are all a matter of perspective. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Fast forward to Martin Luther King Day, 2011-my youngest two daughters have the day off from school. We were discussing who he was and why we celebrate him. They had the general idea but as our discussion grew I realized how foreign it all seemed to them. They had a hard time believing that a person’s skin color made that much difference!
My youngest daughter saw her first working record player when she was almost 4. She couldn’t wait to tell her siblings about “the giant CD that dropped down and went round and round and round. Music came out!”
She also had a rather philosophical view when her favorite movie disappeared. It was “Phantom of the Opera” and her brothers had hidden it. They swore they would go nuts if they had to hear it again. She was concerned for a day but decided it would be alright. She said she would wait until #2 came out.
She saw a phone that she loved at an antique shop but she couldn’t figure out how to use the rotary dial. I tried to explain how it worked.
We talked recently about the “intruder drills” that their school holds regularly. In my time, it was “nuclear bomb” drills. We were instructed to get under our desks and curl up in a ball when the siren went off. We were so ill informed we actually thought that would help!
My daughters are growing up with laptops, cell phones, special effects, 100 channels, laser printing and facebook. I grew up with computers that occupied whole buildings, carphones that only the rich and famous owned, no blood movie murders, 3 channels, crayons and letters to Grandma.
I grew up in a world that used words like nigger, spic, drago, retard, homo, commie, etc. My daughters don’t know any of these words. They know about worldy things that I didn’t know about until I was married with kids.
But I also grew up in a world where kids trick or treated by themselves. We could spend all day Saturday running around town by ourselves. We played at the park, went to the movies and had lunch at one of our many friends. Most moms stayed home and all of them looked after us. Summers were endless days of leisure and fun. We knew no fear.
So, I guess “the good old days” are all a matter of perspective. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Monday, February 21, 2011
100th Blog
Today’s blog is my 100th blog. Thanks to all of you who have been faithful readers from the beginning. Welcome to you who have just come aboard. A big thanks to those of you who have shared the site with others. It’s always gratifying to a writer to have their words shared.
For years, I’ve wanted to do a column that was short, provocative, touching and sometimes funny. I thought that in this busy, tumultuous world there was a place for such a column. Something that would only take a few minutes to read but would keep the reader thinking for the rest of the day. Maybe even fill some of those empty hollow places we all have within us.
I put some together. I shared them with a variety of people. The feedback was good. I sent samples to local newspapers. Nothing happened. I sent to more newspapers. Nothing happened. I finally gave in to today’s technology and asked my son to teach me to blog. “The view from my side of the street” was born.
At first, I intended for open dialogue among readers- I’d write my story and thought then readers would share their stories and thoughts on the same subject. I envisioned it following a similar pattern as discussions with my friends. I was looking forward to having my horizons widened by other points of view.
I had not taken into account how insanely busy everyone is. I realize now that I was asking a lot just for people to make time in their day to even read the blog. How grateful I am to all of you who do!
When I first was divorced I was unable to get a job due to the fact that I had been a stay at home mom for 20 yrs. I ended up starting my own cleaning business. It was very successful but as most of my clients were not home when I cleaned and nobody ever called at the end of the day to say “my toilet looks great!” I wondered if I was doing a good enough job.
I shared my concerns with a wonderful older wiser woman. She looked me in the eye and asked, “Are you busy?” Yes. “Do they have you come back?” Yes. “Are they telling other people about you?” Yes. “That means they think you’re good! Quit worrying about it.”
And so- I am applying that same litmus test to this blog on its 100th birthday- Are people reading it? Yes. Are people sharing it? Yes. Are they coming back to read more? Yes. So on to the next 100. So far, it’s been a great journey- I guess we just hold on and enjoy- Wheeeeeeeeee!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
For years, I’ve wanted to do a column that was short, provocative, touching and sometimes funny. I thought that in this busy, tumultuous world there was a place for such a column. Something that would only take a few minutes to read but would keep the reader thinking for the rest of the day. Maybe even fill some of those empty hollow places we all have within us.
I put some together. I shared them with a variety of people. The feedback was good. I sent samples to local newspapers. Nothing happened. I sent to more newspapers. Nothing happened. I finally gave in to today’s technology and asked my son to teach me to blog. “The view from my side of the street” was born.
At first, I intended for open dialogue among readers- I’d write my story and thought then readers would share their stories and thoughts on the same subject. I envisioned it following a similar pattern as discussions with my friends. I was looking forward to having my horizons widened by other points of view.
I had not taken into account how insanely busy everyone is. I realize now that I was asking a lot just for people to make time in their day to even read the blog. How grateful I am to all of you who do!
When I first was divorced I was unable to get a job due to the fact that I had been a stay at home mom for 20 yrs. I ended up starting my own cleaning business. It was very successful but as most of my clients were not home when I cleaned and nobody ever called at the end of the day to say “my toilet looks great!” I wondered if I was doing a good enough job.
I shared my concerns with a wonderful older wiser woman. She looked me in the eye and asked, “Are you busy?” Yes. “Do they have you come back?” Yes. “Are they telling other people about you?” Yes. “That means they think you’re good! Quit worrying about it.”
And so- I am applying that same litmus test to this blog on its 100th birthday- Are people reading it? Yes. Are people sharing it? Yes. Are they coming back to read more? Yes. So on to the next 100. So far, it’s been a great journey- I guess we just hold on and enjoy- Wheeeeeeeeee!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wise man
A very poor, unhappy man went to his village wise man. “Oh, wise man, can you help me? My house is so small and crowded and noisy. I have five children, a wife and two parents. I have no money to make it bigger. I need help. Can you help me?”
The wise man replied, “Yes, son, I can. Go home and move all your chickens into the house. Come back in a week.” So the man went home and moved his chickens into the house. He waited for something miraculous to happen. He returned at the end of a week.
“Well?” asked the wise man. “Oh, my house is too small and crowded and noisy.” replied the poor man. “Go home and move your goats into the house” was the wise man’s answer. So the poor man did.
Another week passed. The poor man made the long weary pilgrimage back to the wise man’s dwelling. “My house is so small and noisy and crowded. The goats did not help!” he complained. The wise man said “Move your cow into your house. Come back in a week.” So the man did.
At the end of this week, the poor man was at his wits end. “Oh, my house is so crowded I can hardly move around. It is so noisy I can’t hear myself think. It is messy and chaotic.” The wise man’s reply was to go home and take all the animals out. “Come back in a week.”
It was a new man that made the trek the following week. He was happy and light hearted. “Oh, wise man, my house is so big and clean and peaceful now. Thank you so very much!” He had learned to be content with what he had and stop longing for something more.
I was reminded of this story this week as I did battle with my own feelings of discontent. Even more foreign to me were the feelings of envy that were flooding my being. I am not a discontent or envious person in general. As a matter of fact, the last time I felt real deep down envy was about 30 years ago. So I was taken aback by these feelings now.
I’ve been helping a friend clean her son’s newly vacant home. He took a new job in another state and his family went with him. I have fallen in love with the house. Its floor plan is exact to one I cut out of a magazine and saved. It’s in a great location. It gets just the right amount of sun. In short, it appears to be custom made for me. And I can’t have it.
What made it even harder is that the woman that lived in it didn’t take care of it. She has no idea how good her life is or how much has been done for her. She has everything I’ve ever wanted and she doesn’t appreciate it. I realized that fact was the one really bothering me.
At first I tried to deny I was feeling this way but my heart wouldn’t have any part of that. I finally let the feelings out of the closet and dealt with each one at a time. I learned some things about myself. I let go of some things. And I made my trip to the Wise Man to say how much I love my life. You know what? I really do.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
The wise man replied, “Yes, son, I can. Go home and move all your chickens into the house. Come back in a week.” So the man went home and moved his chickens into the house. He waited for something miraculous to happen. He returned at the end of a week.
“Well?” asked the wise man. “Oh, my house is too small and crowded and noisy.” replied the poor man. “Go home and move your goats into the house” was the wise man’s answer. So the poor man did.
Another week passed. The poor man made the long weary pilgrimage back to the wise man’s dwelling. “My house is so small and noisy and crowded. The goats did not help!” he complained. The wise man said “Move your cow into your house. Come back in a week.” So the man did.
At the end of this week, the poor man was at his wits end. “Oh, my house is so crowded I can hardly move around. It is so noisy I can’t hear myself think. It is messy and chaotic.” The wise man’s reply was to go home and take all the animals out. “Come back in a week.”
It was a new man that made the trek the following week. He was happy and light hearted. “Oh, wise man, my house is so big and clean and peaceful now. Thank you so very much!” He had learned to be content with what he had and stop longing for something more.
I was reminded of this story this week as I did battle with my own feelings of discontent. Even more foreign to me were the feelings of envy that were flooding my being. I am not a discontent or envious person in general. As a matter of fact, the last time I felt real deep down envy was about 30 years ago. So I was taken aback by these feelings now.
I’ve been helping a friend clean her son’s newly vacant home. He took a new job in another state and his family went with him. I have fallen in love with the house. Its floor plan is exact to one I cut out of a magazine and saved. It’s in a great location. It gets just the right amount of sun. In short, it appears to be custom made for me. And I can’t have it.
What made it even harder is that the woman that lived in it didn’t take care of it. She has no idea how good her life is or how much has been done for her. She has everything I’ve ever wanted and she doesn’t appreciate it. I realized that fact was the one really bothering me.
At first I tried to deny I was feeling this way but my heart wouldn’t have any part of that. I finally let the feelings out of the closet and dealt with each one at a time. I learned some things about myself. I let go of some things. And I made my trip to the Wise Man to say how much I love my life. You know what? I really do.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Getting away from it all
My sweetie and I just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary by going to the Oregon Coast for a few days. We went to the same area we had gone to on our honeymoon. It was an impromptu trip that we really couldn’t afford either in money or time. Sometimes I think those are the best trips to make. No planning, no stress, just throw some things in a bag and go.
We had a great time just hanging together. It gave us perspective on how much we have grown as individuals and as a couple in 5 years. One of the things that I think makes relationships interesting is the fact that as human beings we are constantly growing, changing, adapting. This constant change creates change in those around us as they adapt to the “new us”. Then someone else grows and we have to catch up.
For us the weather was wonderful- stormy waves, high wind and driving rain! The desk clerk that checked us into our hotel apologized for the weather and told us about the casino and outlet stores. We both laughing replied, “We didn’t come all this way to go shopping! We came to be with the ocean.”
We both love the ocean in all its seasons and glory. We feel invigorated, healed and charged by walking the beach. We went walking the beach three different times. We were all alone each time! It was Valentines’s weekend and the fancy ocean front hotels were packed! We saw the full parking lots.
We also saw the brightly lit rooms with all the televisions on when we walked at night. On Saturday the shops were packed! Not just specialty shops but Wal-mart and others. We took a drive down the coast further. Hotels packed, stores packed, restaurants packed- beach empty. I only saw one person on a hotel balcony during our three walks.
We treated ourselves to a great seafood dinner at a rustic type restaurant with wonderful ocean ambience. More than half the people there were spending their meal time on their cell phones.
I compared their choices to ours. No cell phones, no TV, the only shopping we did was for food and a couple of junk shops. We did not think it important to pay 2x as much money for an ocean view since we spent a good part of our time on the beach. We drove home tired but charged and ready for another year.
We both wondered about those who had spent mucho bucks to watch TV, text and shop. Couldn’t they have done that at home? I wonder if they enjoyed “getting away from it all” as much as we did. Somehow, I doubt it!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
We had a great time just hanging together. It gave us perspective on how much we have grown as individuals and as a couple in 5 years. One of the things that I think makes relationships interesting is the fact that as human beings we are constantly growing, changing, adapting. This constant change creates change in those around us as they adapt to the “new us”. Then someone else grows and we have to catch up.
For us the weather was wonderful- stormy waves, high wind and driving rain! The desk clerk that checked us into our hotel apologized for the weather and told us about the casino and outlet stores. We both laughing replied, “We didn’t come all this way to go shopping! We came to be with the ocean.”
We both love the ocean in all its seasons and glory. We feel invigorated, healed and charged by walking the beach. We went walking the beach three different times. We were all alone each time! It was Valentines’s weekend and the fancy ocean front hotels were packed! We saw the full parking lots.
We also saw the brightly lit rooms with all the televisions on when we walked at night. On Saturday the shops were packed! Not just specialty shops but Wal-mart and others. We took a drive down the coast further. Hotels packed, stores packed, restaurants packed- beach empty. I only saw one person on a hotel balcony during our three walks.
We treated ourselves to a great seafood dinner at a rustic type restaurant with wonderful ocean ambience. More than half the people there were spending their meal time on their cell phones.
I compared their choices to ours. No cell phones, no TV, the only shopping we did was for food and a couple of junk shops. We did not think it important to pay 2x as much money for an ocean view since we spent a good part of our time on the beach. We drove home tired but charged and ready for another year.
We both wondered about those who had spent mucho bucks to watch TV, text and shop. Couldn’t they have done that at home? I wonder if they enjoyed “getting away from it all” as much as we did. Somehow, I doubt it!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy ever after
“Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale.” I read that in a card. I thought that it was an appropriate thought for Valentine’s Day. Fairy tales! I could write a book about the meaning of those words and unrealistic expectations caused by them but I won’t do it here.
For now, let’s just agree that all fairy tales have happy beginnings and happy endings. It’s the stuff in the middle that most of us don’t expect. And we don’t know how any of our fairy tales will end until they do. In this day and age of disposable relationships, “happy ever after” doesn’t seem to exist. I think it’s because most people don’t stick around long enough to see the end. Many just can’t get thru the messy stuff in the middle.
Read the quote again- it doesn’t say that LIFE gives us the fairy tale, it says that LOVE does! So what is “real love”? The skin horse told the velveteen rabbit this- “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. ….It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
I have learned that real love is accepting one another for who they are not who you want them to be. I have learned that it consists of much forgiveness for big hurts and little hurts. It consists of keeping our opinions to ourselves when necessary and saying them out loud when equally necessary.
It means turning the other cheek and sometimes even a blind eye. It means taking the time to learn each other. It means giving sometimes when you really want to take. Sometimes it means unconditional support when you would like to be the first one in the firing line.
It means times of like, times of dislike, times of hate and woven thru all- the dazzling moments of love. It DOES take a long time. But as the skin horse said, once you are REAL you can’t be ugly to those that truly love you. The happy ending for the lucky few that make it to that point is- that person across the table has seen you in all your beautiful and not so beautiful moments. And they are still there! When you look in each other’s eyes, you don’t see bald or fat or old, you see your prince or your princess and that’s your happy ending.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
For now, let’s just agree that all fairy tales have happy beginnings and happy endings. It’s the stuff in the middle that most of us don’t expect. And we don’t know how any of our fairy tales will end until they do. In this day and age of disposable relationships, “happy ever after” doesn’t seem to exist. I think it’s because most people don’t stick around long enough to see the end. Many just can’t get thru the messy stuff in the middle.
Read the quote again- it doesn’t say that LIFE gives us the fairy tale, it says that LOVE does! So what is “real love”? The skin horse told the velveteen rabbit this- “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. ….It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
I have learned that real love is accepting one another for who they are not who you want them to be. I have learned that it consists of much forgiveness for big hurts and little hurts. It consists of keeping our opinions to ourselves when necessary and saying them out loud when equally necessary.
It means turning the other cheek and sometimes even a blind eye. It means taking the time to learn each other. It means giving sometimes when you really want to take. Sometimes it means unconditional support when you would like to be the first one in the firing line.
It means times of like, times of dislike, times of hate and woven thru all- the dazzling moments of love. It DOES take a long time. But as the skin horse said, once you are REAL you can’t be ugly to those that truly love you. The happy ending for the lucky few that make it to that point is- that person across the table has seen you in all your beautiful and not so beautiful moments. And they are still there! When you look in each other’s eyes, you don’t see bald or fat or old, you see your prince or your princess and that’s your happy ending.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Hell in a Handbasket
OK. Have you heard of or seen the clip from “Family Feud” that has us all going to hell in a hand basket? I laughed so loud that I woke my husband up as I watched it. Crying was probably a more appropriate reaction but the situation was unbelievably funny.
I will try to retell the story but I’m not sure I can do it justice. The question being asked was “name something that gets passed around.” There were 6 answers. The quickest contestant answered, “A joint.” The audience and other contestants burst out laughing. The contestant was obviously embarrassed as the laughter continued.
The host responded with the statement, “I’m not sure what 100 people you think we surveyed but I don’t think that middle America being questioned in a mall would answer the survey with an illegal drug, do you?” The laughter continued. He asked the board to reveal if “a joint” was one of the answers. IT WAS! It was answer #5.
The host walked away from the podium shaking his head in disbelief. When he returned, he quietly spoke into the mic- “We are going to hell.” Turning to the other contestant, he asked for her response mentioning that there were 4 answers more popular than “a joint”. She replied, “the collection plate at church”. More laughter and bantering ensued. The comment was made that she was trying to save us. The other contestant said that she has the halo and he has the horns. The host than asked the board to reveal if her answer was on there. It was- in 6th place right after “a joint”.
By now the place was roaring with disbelieving laughter as was I. Again, the host walked away for a moment shaking his head. Upon returning to the mic, he paused and again spoke quietly into it, “This is not good.” That was the end of the clip.
I happen to think that this clip is a very good commentary on the world today. It should be a wake up call to all of us. I recently read about a parents group trying to get a certain book banned in a local school curriculum. They were concerned about some bad language and sexual content. I have read the book. I have also worked with teenagers and spent time at the school.
I want to tell these concerned parents to stand in the halls of their children’s school between classes and listen. Today’s kids have this stuff all around them in real life. They deal with worse language and sexual content than what is in that book. We SHOULD be concerned! We should be VERY concerned!!
Our children are growing up in a world in which more people have experience passing around joints than church plates. Shouldn’t we be teaching them how to cope with their world and not how to hide their heads like ostriches and pretend it doesn’t exist?
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
I will try to retell the story but I’m not sure I can do it justice. The question being asked was “name something that gets passed around.” There were 6 answers. The quickest contestant answered, “A joint.” The audience and other contestants burst out laughing. The contestant was obviously embarrassed as the laughter continued.
The host responded with the statement, “I’m not sure what 100 people you think we surveyed but I don’t think that middle America being questioned in a mall would answer the survey with an illegal drug, do you?” The laughter continued. He asked the board to reveal if “a joint” was one of the answers. IT WAS! It was answer #5.
The host walked away from the podium shaking his head in disbelief. When he returned, he quietly spoke into the mic- “We are going to hell.” Turning to the other contestant, he asked for her response mentioning that there were 4 answers more popular than “a joint”. She replied, “the collection plate at church”. More laughter and bantering ensued. The comment was made that she was trying to save us. The other contestant said that she has the halo and he has the horns. The host than asked the board to reveal if her answer was on there. It was- in 6th place right after “a joint”.
By now the place was roaring with disbelieving laughter as was I. Again, the host walked away for a moment shaking his head. Upon returning to the mic, he paused and again spoke quietly into it, “This is not good.” That was the end of the clip.
I happen to think that this clip is a very good commentary on the world today. It should be a wake up call to all of us. I recently read about a parents group trying to get a certain book banned in a local school curriculum. They were concerned about some bad language and sexual content. I have read the book. I have also worked with teenagers and spent time at the school.
I want to tell these concerned parents to stand in the halls of their children’s school between classes and listen. Today’s kids have this stuff all around them in real life. They deal with worse language and sexual content than what is in that book. We SHOULD be concerned! We should be VERY concerned!!
Our children are growing up in a world in which more people have experience passing around joints than church plates. Shouldn’t we be teaching them how to cope with their world and not how to hide their heads like ostriches and pretend it doesn’t exist?
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Here's your sign!
My husband brought home a newspaper this past weekend. It had been lying about in the break room and he snagged it before it could be thrown away. I haven’t read a paper in ages so he thought it would be a treat. He was right- kinda sorta.
I can’t believe how stupid people are! I read one thing after another that made me want to say, “Here’s your sign!” But this particular story took the cake.
A couple was involved in a domestic dispute over which one of them was going to the store for a pack of cigarettes. The woman became enraged when the man refused to go. The argument escalated to physical violence. At this point the man pulled his pocket knife out and slashed his partner’s arm. She ran outside. He followed her out and the battle continued.
Of course someone called the police. They arrived, broke up the fight and arrested the couple. Here’s the part that really gets me- they had drug paraphernalia on them. The police searched the house and found the drugs. So instead of taking 20 minutes to walk to the store for cigarettes they are facing 20 years in prison! HELLO!! “Here is your brain- here is your brain on drugs.”
This one comes in at a close second. A man called 911 to ask how many marijuana plants he could grow legally. The answer was none. He thanked the operator and hung up. He had used his home phone to make the call. Police went to his house, confiscated his “plant collection” and arrested him.
Honorable mention goes to the “Dear Abby” column. There are real people with real problems out there. I wanted to tell the people who wrote in to “get a life”! Particularly to the person who wanted to tell her stunningly beautiful co-worker that she dresses too plainly. Abby’s answer included the statement, “Not everyone has the same taste in fashion.” I would have said-“MYOB”(mind your own business).
The best part of the entire paper was the comic section. The cartoons were sensible, making relevant comments that pertained to real life and I could connect with the characters. Wow- that says a lot about the world today, doesn’t it?
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
I can’t believe how stupid people are! I read one thing after another that made me want to say, “Here’s your sign!” But this particular story took the cake.
A couple was involved in a domestic dispute over which one of them was going to the store for a pack of cigarettes. The woman became enraged when the man refused to go. The argument escalated to physical violence. At this point the man pulled his pocket knife out and slashed his partner’s arm. She ran outside. He followed her out and the battle continued.
Of course someone called the police. They arrived, broke up the fight and arrested the couple. Here’s the part that really gets me- they had drug paraphernalia on them. The police searched the house and found the drugs. So instead of taking 20 minutes to walk to the store for cigarettes they are facing 20 years in prison! HELLO!! “Here is your brain- here is your brain on drugs.”
This one comes in at a close second. A man called 911 to ask how many marijuana plants he could grow legally. The answer was none. He thanked the operator and hung up. He had used his home phone to make the call. Police went to his house, confiscated his “plant collection” and arrested him.
Honorable mention goes to the “Dear Abby” column. There are real people with real problems out there. I wanted to tell the people who wrote in to “get a life”! Particularly to the person who wanted to tell her stunningly beautiful co-worker that she dresses too plainly. Abby’s answer included the statement, “Not everyone has the same taste in fashion.” I would have said-“MYOB”(mind your own business).
The best part of the entire paper was the comic section. The cartoons were sensible, making relevant comments that pertained to real life and I could connect with the characters. Wow- that says a lot about the world today, doesn’t it?
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Monday, February 7, 2011
C'mon baby, light my fire!
I can be very stubborn about certain things. Yes, I hate to admit it but I am. I was reminded of this particular trait this past week. We heat our home with wood. Me and woodstoves go way back, I have started more fires and kept more stoves going than I can count. I consider myself a very experienced woodstover.
However, our woodstoves here in the West seem to be very different from their Eastern counterparts. Actually, I’m not sure it’s the stoves fault. Our Western wood is mostly softer wood than the wonderful oak, apple, and other hard woods I remember fondly. The point is that if not fed very often, this stove goes out.
So I have had to start this stove over and over again. I have come to HATE doing it. It is time consuming and I have worked on a hit or miss system. Sometimes it starts great- sometimes it doesn’t. I have been verbal about my frustration. My sweet, patient husband has offered on several occasions to show me how to light the stove. I in my New England stubbornness have declined rather vehemently. I mean, really- HE show ME how to light a fire! Who does he think he is? It’s the stupid stoves problem not mine!
Last week I was out all day. I knew that I was coming home to a dark, cold house. I was tired, hungry and had a car full of groceries to unpack and put away. I started cursing out the stove before I even turned into the driveway! I was miserable.
But when I entered the house I was pleasantly surprised. Before leaving for work my sweetie had turned on a few lights, (he remembered how much I hate coming home to a dark house). Then I opened my dreaded enemy- the woodstove from hell- and found that it was all laid out ready to light. What a guy!
I noticed the way he had it set up. It was much different than I usually did it. I put the match to it and proceeded to empty my car. By the time I was done, that fire was blazing and heat was rising from it. I felt like a complete idiot because my pride and stubbornness in refusing to let him teach me his way had cost me hours of stress and frustration!!
I have since used his method every time. Guess what? It works every time! I showed my daughters how to do it and they called it magic! It is. Now I’m wondering about all the other amazing things my stubbornness has kept me from learning. Maybe I’d rather not know.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
However, our woodstoves here in the West seem to be very different from their Eastern counterparts. Actually, I’m not sure it’s the stoves fault. Our Western wood is mostly softer wood than the wonderful oak, apple, and other hard woods I remember fondly. The point is that if not fed very often, this stove goes out.
So I have had to start this stove over and over again. I have come to HATE doing it. It is time consuming and I have worked on a hit or miss system. Sometimes it starts great- sometimes it doesn’t. I have been verbal about my frustration. My sweet, patient husband has offered on several occasions to show me how to light the stove. I in my New England stubbornness have declined rather vehemently. I mean, really- HE show ME how to light a fire! Who does he think he is? It’s the stupid stoves problem not mine!
Last week I was out all day. I knew that I was coming home to a dark, cold house. I was tired, hungry and had a car full of groceries to unpack and put away. I started cursing out the stove before I even turned into the driveway! I was miserable.
But when I entered the house I was pleasantly surprised. Before leaving for work my sweetie had turned on a few lights, (he remembered how much I hate coming home to a dark house). Then I opened my dreaded enemy- the woodstove from hell- and found that it was all laid out ready to light. What a guy!
I noticed the way he had it set up. It was much different than I usually did it. I put the match to it and proceeded to empty my car. By the time I was done, that fire was blazing and heat was rising from it. I felt like a complete idiot because my pride and stubbornness in refusing to let him teach me his way had cost me hours of stress and frustration!!
I have since used his method every time. Guess what? It works every time! I showed my daughters how to do it and they called it magic! It is. Now I’m wondering about all the other amazing things my stubbornness has kept me from learning. Maybe I’d rather not know.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Friday, February 4, 2011
A Sweeter World
A few years ago, my youngest child and I were a having one of those profound conversations that happen every so often. She was 3 and we were alone in the car. We were discussing candy. She was for and I was against.
She has always been a deep thinker and I listened as she reasoned out why candy was good for us. I knew that I was losing the argument when she decided that God had made candy to help us be sweet. What could I say? From her perspective, it did!
What really got to me was what she did after coming to that conclusion. She began listing the people in her life that needed candy. Her idea was for us to go to the store, buy a giant bag of M&M’s and pass them out. Her list was VERY interesting. Some names were no brainers, others I had to ask about. Her answers were revealing. I realized that her quick, intuitive, 3 yr. old mind had picked up on many things I had not.
I also learned that to her “grumpy” or “not sweet” included those who had been rude, short, sad, or otherwise hurting emotionally. She was picking up on external clues to an internal conflict. She was not hurt by any of these reactions. It didn’t occur to her to take their moods personally. She read them as hurting and needing to be sweetened. That’s all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. What would the world be like if we ALL stopped taking things personally? What if we stopped worrying about what someone else was doing and just paid attention to our own actions? What if we took the time to see the hurting all around us? Think about it!
That person who just cut you off on the highway might not be trying to piss you off- MAYBE, he just didn’t see you. The grocery clerk who pressed the wrong key and froze the cash register isn’t trying to make you late for work-MAYBE she made a mistake. The person who fired you wasn’t trying to ruin your life- MAYBE he didn’t have a choice. The list is endless.
And even if they did mean it personally, why bother to waste precious emotional energy on them anyway? Just give them a bag of M&M’s and tell them to have a nice day. Yeah, I agree with my daughter. Let’s make the world a sweeter place to be one M&M at a time.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
She has always been a deep thinker and I listened as she reasoned out why candy was good for us. I knew that I was losing the argument when she decided that God had made candy to help us be sweet. What could I say? From her perspective, it did!
What really got to me was what she did after coming to that conclusion. She began listing the people in her life that needed candy. Her idea was for us to go to the store, buy a giant bag of M&M’s and pass them out. Her list was VERY interesting. Some names were no brainers, others I had to ask about. Her answers were revealing. I realized that her quick, intuitive, 3 yr. old mind had picked up on many things I had not.
I also learned that to her “grumpy” or “not sweet” included those who had been rude, short, sad, or otherwise hurting emotionally. She was picking up on external clues to an internal conflict. She was not hurt by any of these reactions. It didn’t occur to her to take their moods personally. She read them as hurting and needing to be sweetened. That’s all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. What would the world be like if we ALL stopped taking things personally? What if we stopped worrying about what someone else was doing and just paid attention to our own actions? What if we took the time to see the hurting all around us? Think about it!
That person who just cut you off on the highway might not be trying to piss you off- MAYBE, he just didn’t see you. The grocery clerk who pressed the wrong key and froze the cash register isn’t trying to make you late for work-MAYBE she made a mistake. The person who fired you wasn’t trying to ruin your life- MAYBE he didn’t have a choice. The list is endless.
And even if they did mean it personally, why bother to waste precious emotional energy on them anyway? Just give them a bag of M&M’s and tell them to have a nice day. Yeah, I agree with my daughter. Let’s make the world a sweeter place to be one M&M at a time.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy Thoughts
“When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad!” So goes the unforgettable song from “The Sound of Music”. We sing a hymn in Church that has us counting our blessings. Scientists call it using our positive energy to dispel the negative. I call it finding the “happy thought”.
No matter how bad the situation is you can always find a “happy thought”. In the 70’s, Cat Stevens had a song called “Moonshadow”. It illustrated “happy thoughts” perfectly. “If I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan and I won’t beg. If I ever lose my legs--- I won’t have to walk no more.” He went on to sing about losing other body parts. It sounds horrible but it really was a beautiful song about making the best of what life dishes out.
I chose years ago to use the phrase “happy thoughts” because in the play Peter Pan, when everyone wished to fly, pixie dust was sprinkled on them but that wasn’t enough. Peter told them all to think “happy thoughts” and they would be able to fly. I have had a number of hard times in my life. Just getting thru them has never seemed to be enough for me. I want to fly!
And for those cynics out there who don’t think this life skill works all I can say is try it. It helps us stay balanced during the stormy times of life. Now, a word of warning, don’t “happy thought” your way out of the situation completely. “Happy thoughts” are NOT a way to get out of dealing with things. They just help you have a better perspective. You can see the problem clearer while flying over it than down on the ground neck deep in it.
If you need help finding your “happy thought” in any situation, ask someone close. They may be able to see it when you can’t. Just in case, here is a generic “happy thought” most of you can use. “You are stronger than this. You are brave and courageous. And let’s face it- you are my friend (sibling, parent, spouse, child, etc.). So that means you can put up with anything!”
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
No matter how bad the situation is you can always find a “happy thought”. In the 70’s, Cat Stevens had a song called “Moonshadow”. It illustrated “happy thoughts” perfectly. “If I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan and I won’t beg. If I ever lose my legs--- I won’t have to walk no more.” He went on to sing about losing other body parts. It sounds horrible but it really was a beautiful song about making the best of what life dishes out.
I chose years ago to use the phrase “happy thoughts” because in the play Peter Pan, when everyone wished to fly, pixie dust was sprinkled on them but that wasn’t enough. Peter told them all to think “happy thoughts” and they would be able to fly. I have had a number of hard times in my life. Just getting thru them has never seemed to be enough for me. I want to fly!
And for those cynics out there who don’t think this life skill works all I can say is try it. It helps us stay balanced during the stormy times of life. Now, a word of warning, don’t “happy thought” your way out of the situation completely. “Happy thoughts” are NOT a way to get out of dealing with things. They just help you have a better perspective. You can see the problem clearer while flying over it than down on the ground neck deep in it.
If you need help finding your “happy thought” in any situation, ask someone close. They may be able to see it when you can’t. Just in case, here is a generic “happy thought” most of you can use. “You are stronger than this. You are brave and courageous. And let’s face it- you are my friend (sibling, parent, spouse, child, etc.). So that means you can put up with anything!”
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
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