Ogle Worthy?!

My husband hasn’t a romantic bone in his body- not even a sliver of one. We‘ve been married five years and he just now has started to recognize my birthday, Valentines’ Day, anniversary, etc. He doesn’t give compliments or say sweet things.
When we were first married, this concerned me greatly. One day I shared with my son the fact that I wouldn’t know how he felt if it wasn’t for our nighttime prayers. My son than taught me a valuable lesson about men.
According to my son (and other men I asked), the highest compliment they can give is to tell someone else about you. When we say things to them like- you are so cute, you did a great job on the dishes, etc. etc., they like it but if they hear you tell someone else- my husband did a great job on the dishes, his new haircut is so cute, etc. etc. then it REALLY means something to them.
My son said, “Mom, he’s telling GOD how great you are, what more do you want?” To which his wife and myself both replied, “To hear it ourselves once in awhile!”
So something that happened yesterday is possibly the sweetest thing my husband has ever done! We were on the freeway. I was driving. It was a very pretty afternoon. Oblivious to all around me, I jumped when my husband hollered out the window, “She’s old enough to be your mother!”
“What?????” I asked. He pointed to the pickup that had just passed us. I could see that he was upset. Confused because my husband rarely pays attention to other drivers I asked if there had been a young man and older woman in it. Apparently not- he was angry because he thought that the young men in the truck were ogling ME!
I began to laugh. I probably should have been mad about the “old” comment but the fact that he thought it was even possible that I was being ogled was so amazing. And by younger men! And he was mad about it!!! WOW!
I explained that I hadn’t been ogled in about a century. I reassured him that I hadn’t even noticed. I thanked him for thinking I was ogle worthy. But the whole time I was thinking that this was the best compliment I had ever received!
Who cares if he doesn’t tell me I look nice? He really believes that I am ogle worthy!!! That will get me through the next five, no, probably, ten years.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Different Flavors

I am opening an antique/gift shop with two of my friends. It’s something we have all wanted to do for a long time. We’ve actually been working towards it for a number of years but finally, everything is set to fall together. We open in about a week.
Over the past year, as we have explored our options and done our homework, we’ve each tossed around ideas for the name of our store. Here are the three names we’ve come up with:
1. Too Much Junk in the Trunk
2. Once Upon a Time
3. The Three Sisters
I think that those who know the three of us would have no problem matching the person to the name. And again, I am reminded of the amazing way our differences enrich one another’s lives. Think of what an incredible world we would live in if differences were embraced rather than shunned or avoided. We should find joy in one another’s differences and realize how each of us has our own flavor to add. Can you imagine an ice cream store with only vanilla?
“The Three Sisters” was the invention of my artist friend. In Indian lore, the three sisters are beans, corn and pumpkin. They were planted together to give support and protection to each other. She loves symbolisms.
“Once Upon a Time” is the creation of my librarian friend. Her taste in things is romantic and old fashioned.
“Too Much Junk in the Trunk” was my brainchild. It is quirky and I like the play on words. Yes, we have too much junk, hence the store but I also have too much junk in my other trunk (the one I sit on).
We have all had a good laugh about how clearly each name represented the inventor. We also think we might have a solution- “Once upon a time, three sisters had too much junk in their trunk!” We aren’t sure if we can afford the sign or business cards we’d have with a name like that, though.
Oh, well, it’s already promising to be a very eclectic type store. But our particular flavors blend well so it should be a success!!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Hungry Hearts

While working on a project this past week, I have watched one whole season of Hoarders and one whole season of Intervention on my Netflix. I’m sad. I’m very sad to see so many hurting, hopeless, empty people all searching for acceptance, love, and belonging. I call it being “heart hungry”.
“Heart hunger” is a world wide epidemic. Hungry hearts all over the planet are trying to fill the whole with things- belongings, drugs, alcohol, food, sex, etc. They try anything that will quiet the hunger and give the illusion of fullness.
What is “heart hunger”? It’s a lack of intimacy with other human beings. That kind of intimacy should exist in families and friendships. It doesn’t always. It is based on trust, faithfulness, compassion, forgiveness, understanding and acceptance.
It’s that feeling that someone has your back, is honest enough to tell you the hard stuff and will blow away the chaff while hanging on to the wheat of your life. It is not enough to find people like this. We must also be people like this.
I think that “heart hunger” has spread so quickly because we seem to have forgotten that our capacity to feel and give love grows as we use it. When we hold on to our caring which we often do because of fear, we gradually stop being able to care.
The scriptures refer to today as a time when “the love of man waxes cold”. Wow, that hits it right on the head, don’t you think? Friends, neighbors, relatives used to form a great support group in each others lives. And everyone needs that kind of support but most do not have it.
Won’t you all join with me to fight “heart hunger”? Make a promise today to spread “love and good cheer”. Give smiles, compliments, gratitude to all around you, whether you know them or not. Be forgiving of intended and unintended hurts. Ask someone if you can help them. If you know someone is hurting- reach out, don’t turn away.
I’ve remembered for years a certain episode of the original Star Trek. A mind reading entity occupied a human for the sake of communicating. While experiencing being human for a few minutes, the entity remarked, “How lonely you all are! You have only your own thoughts for company. How do you stand it?” The answer is we don’t.
Love, caring, compassion and understanding are the most powerful tools we have to dispel the darkness we see all around us. And the most amazing part is when we use these tools to help others who are hurting, our hurting is diminished. It’s a win- win!! You can’t say that about too many things!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Pantyhose

I bought new panty hose last week. This was a big deal because I only wear it for a few hours on Sundays. I haven’t had to buy new for years. The presence of my husband hurried me thru the process of making a choice. I read the boxes carefully but there were so many variables- size, color, toe guard, no toe guard, control top, etc.
I finally settled on one of the boxes and that was that. Sunday morning arrived and I confidently pulled my new stockings from the drawer. I unrolled a pair and began to put them on. This is not always an easy task but this particular morning I struggled more than usual. The elastic in these babies could have been used for a sling shot.
I huffed and I puffed as I worked at stuffing my fat legs into them. No, that’s not accurate. I was not stuffing my legs into them. I was trying to stretch the hose as I struggled to unroll them. When I finally completed the task I felt like someone had wrapped my legs and buttocks with ace bandages.
My husband was thoroughly amused by my situation. I did a Frankenstein walk to the box these things had come out of. I knew what was wrong the minute I looked. Instead of buying the much more comfortable control top stockings which I had intended to purchase, I had bought “support hose”!
For those who aren’t familiar with that type of panty hose, let me introduce you. They are see through elastic bandages usually used by old ladies with varicose veins. If you’ve ever had a surgery, this type of leg wear was placed on your legs to prevent blood clots.
Decades ago, when I worked in nursing homes, the job of putting someone’s support hose on was one to be avoided at all costs. Flashbacks of such incidents flooded my brain. I remember one large older woman who had to wear them everyday. It took thirty minutes to complete the task. And I now owned three pair!
There is a plus side though. It takes a chainsaw to put a run in these things. They might very well be the last pairs of stockings I ever buy. And the struggle to put them on each week should count towards my cardio workouts!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Pantyhose

Chapstick

You know the old saying- “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”? I found out how true this was recently. I am a chapstick girl. I always have it on hand and I use it regularly. I have for years. Well, this particular day, I was outside working with my husband. It was sunny but also very windy. We were doing dirty work. My lips were getting drier by the minute but I didn’t want to stop to go in and get my chapstick. I toughed it out, licking them when the dryness was unbearable.
Oh, boy, did I regret it that night. My lips were sun burnt, desert dry and oh, so, sore! It had been a long time since my lips had suffered so much. Out came the Vaseline. I slathered it on my mouth every time I thought of it. I did this for 2 days. My lips were still sore but I could use my regular chapstick by then. It actually took almost 5 days for the effects of my negligence to disappear completely.
I kicked myself several times for being so stupid! I knew better! What was I thinking? Then I began likening this situation to others in my life. How many times did I choose to not take the simple precautions that would have saved hours, days, even years of misery?
I started thinking of the other “chapsticks” in my life that I had been too busy or too preoccupied or too stubborn to have used. I remembered a car accident that put my entire family at risk because I ignored bad weather reports and didn’t head for home earlier as I should have. I knew better.
I remembered a physical attack that came to me as a young girl walking home on streets I shouldn’t have at a time I shouldn’t have. I knew better.
I remembered a time when I trusted someone against my better judgement and others advice. I shouldn’t have. I knew better.
My list goes on as probably yours could too. The price paid for not using my “chapsticks” was very high as it is in all of our lives. An ounce of prevention is always worth a pound of cure.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

The Four Agreements

A friend has loaned me a book. It is called “The Four Agreements”. It was put together by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a book that teaches ancient beliefs practiced by people in Mexico ions ago. I have not read it yet but I wanted to share what the four agreements are. I think they are simple but powerful principles.
I am quoting from the fly leaf of the book- 1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I have been trying to put these truths into practice for the past year. I can’t begin to share the ways my life has changed. I believe that in the confusing, tumultuous times in which we find ourselves peace amid the storm is all we can hope to achieve. But I know that it can be achieved.
Please share these principles with others. It will be life changing for all who apply them in their lives. I’ve also seen what can happen to those who do not follow this advice.
I know that these principles work- they are simple but so powerful. But don’t just take my word for it! Try them yourselves. That’s the view from my side of the street, what's yours?

Bargaining

A good friend of mine is preparing her home and life for a teenage grandson to join. His dad is deploying to Afghanistan and the grandson wants to live with his grandparents during this time. He wants it very, very much! He has wanted it so much over the past year that he has insisted that his grandmother plead with God to set it up for them. He has begged God, his father and his grandparents. He has uttered those words so familiar to many of us-“If you let me do this, (God, Dad or Grandma), I’ll do anything you want me to!! I promise!!”
And so his wish was granted. The miracle he thought would never happen did. Oh, what a happy boy! He is coming as soon as school lets out. BUT as the months have passed and he has become accustomed to his “miracle”, he has begun the “bargaining” stage. “Grandma, I’ll pick up the dog poop outside but I won’t do the catbox.” “Grandma, I’ll mow the lawn and use the weed eater but I won’t pull weeds, I hate that.” We can only guess at his “bargains” with God.
As she shared this story with me, we both chuckled and remembered some of our childhood “bargains” with parents and God. On the way home, however, I thought of our adult “bargains”. We may not express them in the same way but we have all had things in our lives that we have thought “if only this would happen, I’ll be so happy.”
We have ALL had prayers answered and miracles take place even if we don’t recognize them as such. Before the particular event takes place, it seems so unattainable, so marvelous an occurrence that we think it can never happen. But then it does. At the moment, it is mind blowing and awesome. As time goes by, it is less and less so. We become accustomed to it. It is part of our everyday and as such loses some of its “miracle” shine.
And at that point, we forget our promises back when we wanted it so much. We begin to “bargain” or much more likely in our today’s world- justify. That raise wasn’t because I asked for it- it was just time for it. The new job or baby or home or friend or living room set or the list of things we want and don’t think we can get is endless. The child or husband or father or sister that overcame that illness or personal crisis just did so. Begging on their behalf had nothing to do with it.
We miss so much when we forget from whence our blessings flow. We miss so much when we don’t see the day to day “miracles” in our lives. We miss the joy of knowing we are loved and cared about. We lose sight of that which brings so much happiness to our lives- gratitude. Be thankful for today and all that it brings- today is a miracle that you will never experience again. Enjoy every moment even poop duty.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Paycheck to Paycheck

Recently, my husband and I took an online money management course. We are part of the ever growing class that is called “the working poor”. It means that we live paycheck to paycheck. It means that we struggle to pay our bills each month. It means that we are one paycheck away from homelessness. It means that a bad tooth, new tires, an illness are each enough to send us into panic mode where we make the decision to let the electric bill go for a month to accommodate the “crisis”.
We have grown used to the government and our current president not understanding situations like ours. They tell us to buy hybrids (you must have money for down payments, insurance, and monthly payments), go back to school (you must have money and time) and to tighten your belts (most of us have had to add new holes to our already very tight belts).
They seem to forget that while the majority of Americans live in a city type setting where some of these things might help- the majority of America is rural. We live miles away from public transit, stores, libraries, schools, etc. Gas runs our lives. For many, just getting to a gas station would be farther than a hybrid can travel.
So, back to this class, it was supposed to help us make a budget. It was supposed to help us “cut the fat” from our spending. I really expected more than we got. After entering our basic expenses, it informed us that we were spending more than we were taking in- no s#%@! It then proceeded to tell us ways to “cut back”. We weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the suggestions.
1. Stop drinking expensive coffees. (We don’t drink coffee of any kind).
2. Rent movies instead of going to them. (We haven’t been to a movie in 5 years- we also do not rent them- we watch them on Netflix for $9.00 a month).
3. Eat out less. (In the past 18 months, we have eaten out 3 times, this includes a run through McDonald’s drive thru window, Chinese food where we split a lunch and Denny’s where we split a breakfast.)
4. Carpool, take the bus or use public transit. (My husband works in the next big town to us, he drives our smaller car which has to be filled twice a week, $45 a fill. I am left with the pickup which means I go nowhere whenever possible. It takes ½ a tank to go to town and back- $35.)
5. Get a better job. (I’ve been trying but our local employment office will only qualify me for job experience that I have been paid for. 20 years of parenting, church work, volunteer work doesn’t count for anything.)
6. Shop sales for clothing and similar items. (We shop yard sales and thrift stores- gas prices will probably be eliminating even those).
The list goes on. Doesn’t anybody have a clue? I wish they would get one. We were so disgusted with this class and its advice. We know that we aren’t the only ones out there. We meet others all the time. We all make a little too much money to get help but not enough to really do anything but spin our wheels month after month. When will our voices be heard?
And in the meantime, I have my next vehicle all picked out, it’s a shiny red shopping cart. I think I’ll look great pushing all my earthly belongings around in it. I’ve also been brushing up on my survival skills just in case.
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Proud to be an American

Like most of you, I woke up this morning to the news of Bin Laden’s death. Like most of you, I had not forgotten him but his existence was not in the forefront of my mind. I realized that I had come to the belief that his death or capture no longer mattered as much. I was wrong!
I still don’t think that his being alive or dead will have much of an effect on worldwide terrorism. It has grown too big for that. What I underestimated was the effect that his death caused would have on me and my fellow citizens. I didn’t know how right it would feel.
The leader of our country in 2011 threw the gauntlet down when he vowed that we would never give up no matter how long it would take. I remember thinking as I watched him that most of us had no idea how long that would be even though he warned us in that speech. The leader of our country in 2011 picked up that gauntlet and continued the fight. The message to the rest of the world is clear- we will never give up!
It was a perfect operation. It’s going to make a great movie. It would have made a fantastic season of 24. It was perfect because after 10 years of waiting it only took 40 minutes to complete. It was perfect because a small well trained U.S. force took down an entire fortress. It was perfect because instead of being bombed to smithereens, Bin Laden was shot and his body collected and identified. It was perfect because his body was buried at sea leaving no grave to honor or to desecrate. It was a perfect non ending for an egomaniac. The only thing missing was the timing- it should have happened on September 11th.
But it has reminded us that no matter how we might fight among ourselves (much like siblings), we will still stick up for one another when someone from the outside tries to attack. That is why we are called the United States of America. When push comes to shove, we are more united than we are divided. Our differences are less than our similarities. We are parents, children, spouses, grandparents, friends and neighbors. We work hard, we play hard, we love hard. We worship as we want or not. We are Americans and proud to be so.
That’s the view from my side of the street today, what’s yours?