"Having someone to love is a........family. Having somewhere to go is a.......home. Having both is a....... blessing." These words on my daughter-in-law's wall have a special meaning to me this week. I have left my secluded little corner and ventured forth into the world. I am in Anna, Texas visiting with family.
Now I might not be as isolated from the regular world as say....the Amish, I am a pretty close second. I spend hours alone with my animals and farm, have no cell phone, no regular TV, and minimal outside contact. This flight was the first I have taken in almost 12 years. I will attempt to share what has changed.
I didn't quite expect the bottlenecked crowd at security, taking our shoes off seemed ridiculous- most people were wearing sandals or flip-flops- what could they be packing in? I was a little grossed out by walking barefoot where hundreds of strangers feet had been before me!
The flight attendent did a stand up comedy routine along with her safety instructions. It was great! What was not great was the number of people staring at me laughing. I realized that they weren't listening to a word she said and probably thought I was nuts. I wondered if they would know what to do in an emergency.
I was (and still am) furioius that because we can't take water bottles past security, the airport shops can charge $3-$6 for water. Airport shops have always had high prices but we used to have a choice to bring our own. If that choice is removed then the shops should have to have regular prices on those particular items!
Of course, planes have changed a lot too. Gone are the comfortable seats with leg room, arm room and breathing space. Gone are the aisles that not only allowed a food cart to pass but also people who didn't have to turn sideways and scuttle like a crab. Gone were the pillows, blankets and other comfort based items. Gone were the mob of airport attendents asking if you needed help.
 One very large, older women was trying to push her larger, older husband up an incline in his wheelchair. There were two airport attendents nearby. Only when I stopped to help did either of them move!
But I was very pleased to see that something had not changed. What was NOT gone was the comaraderie of fellow travelers going the same way for a time! I met some delightful people and had some great conversations with complete strangers who felt like friends. I love that part of life!
So back to the quote on my daughter-in- laws wall. I am so blessed to have home and family waiting for me on both ends of the trip and friends along the way! It doesn't get any better than that. That's the view from my side of the street, what's yours?
 

Thou Mayest

In John Steinbeck’s “East of Eden” some characters are trying to understand God’s instructions in the Garden of Eden referring to the serpent that represents evil. In the King James Bible, he tells Adam and Eve-“ Thou shalt rule over him.” This appears to be a promise that they will win.


But in the American Standard Bible, the words are “Do thou rule over him”. This feels like an order. The character named Lee takes this puzzle to his Chinese elders. They are fascinated and decide that the only real solution is to find out what the original Hebrew said.

The original words spoke to Adam and Eve and thus to us were, “Thou mayest rule over him”. And this makes all the difference. “Thou mayest” gives to each of us our choice. It’s up to us to conquer the evil in our life.

Steinbeck also states his belief that the world’s story, indeed all stories are really the same. “A man, after he brushes of the dust and chips of his life will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well- or ill?”

The scriptures say “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”

I will not pretend that these choices are easy. They are not. Choosing good over evil have been some of the most painful choices of my life. Making these choices does not always “make everything alright”. Sometimes it has made a situation worse but I’m not choosing for this life alone. I am making choices based on my knowledge that there is a better life after this one. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

B-I-G-O-T- the Other B-word!

With all the hoopla going on about the Chick-fil-a situation, one word has been thrown around quite a bit. The word is bigot. For me, (now I’m aging myself) it is impossible to hear that word and not think of Archie Bunker!!! Google him if you don’t know who he is. He existed before we all became “politically correct”. He was someone we all loved to hate!


Imagine my surprise as I realized that I AM a bigot according to the three definitions I read. Not only am I a bigot, I’m proud of being one. I’ll quote one of the definitions- “an illiberal or intolerant adherent of a religious creed or of any party or opinion.” And since I will never change my mind about God’s position on gay marriage and since that is perceived as being intolerant by certain others, I will admit again- I am a bigot.

BUT according to that definition those of you who are adamantly adhering to the fact that “churchie” people are wrong are bigots too! So how do we sort this all out besides remembering that name calling is like mudslinging, (you know, you can’t throw any without some of it getting all over you)?

For me it depends on where the intolerance is targeted. Jesus taught us to hate the sin but love the sinner. This is huge!! We are all beloved children of God…..and we are all sinners. No exceptions. This should level the playing field considerably. No one is better than someone else because their sin might be different.

So for me, where I stand on the subject of gay marriage is not meant personally towards anyone. I have gay friends, neighbors and relatives. I love these people. I associate with them and treat them with the same respect that I give to everyone. But that doesn’t change my belief that the gay lifestyle is wrong in the sight of God.

I also have neighbors with illegitimate children, family members who have an “open” marriage, friends who cheat big time on their taxes, an alcoholic friend, a drug addicted friend and others whom I care about whose lifestyles are not what I would call righteous. I can love them but also believe that they are making wrong choices. These choices are sins in God’s eyes. If standing up for Him makes me a bigot- than I will accept that term. I prefer to think that it makes me a Christian- a true follower of Jesus Christ who tries to walk in His path- one of forgiveness and love but rock solid on the issues of iniquity. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Don't take My Word for It

My family have been Harry Potter fans from day one! We waited eagerly for each new book. The fastest readers got first dibs, than it was passed on down. At one point, we acquired the books in cassettes for our non readers. We were definitely hooked.


It took us awhile to pick up on the negative vibes that certain portions of today’s population were putting out against the series and J.K. Rowlings. It began to filter in that the books were being blackballed due to the fact that they were about witches and wizards (the dark side of things). I found this astonishing as much of the worlds best literature also have witches- The Narnia series, Lord of the Rings, Shakespeare, Hans Christian Anderson, etc. etc. What was the big deal?

I became very perturbed when I realized that most of the naysayers had never even opened a Harry Potter book. They were simply repeating what they had been told. They were taking others opinions as their own without ever checking it out for themselves.

The subject came up with a respected friend who immediately began to come unglued and vehemently trash the books. I let him finish his speech. I, then, looked him in the eyes and asked, “Have you ever read one?” He answered in the negative. I proceeded with a quiet, “Well, you don’t really know what the story is about, do you?” He was taken aback and I tactfully changed the subject.

I tell this story because I see the same situation now in regards to today’s “religion” questions. So many people stating so many ideas that it makes your head spin. This is right. No, this is. God is this. No, God is this. No, there is no God.

And yet….how many have tried to find out for themselves? People over the centuries have given their very lives to insure that all could have access to God’s words. We live in the great information age. We can google on any subject- when did you last read the scriptures for yourself? When was the last time you knelt down and talked to God? When was the last time you listened to His answer?

He didn’t leave us here without guidance or directions. Not utilizing them is somewhat like trying to get thru college without ever cracking a book! Find out for yourself! Don’t take my word for it. Don’t take anybody’s word for it. Go to the source. Go to God. Read His word, talk to Him.

Here is one of His messages about today. “There shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth; there shall be murders, and robbing, and lying, and deceiving, and whoredoms, and all manner of abominations; when there shall be many who will say, Do this or do that, and it mattereth not, for the Lord will uphold such at the last day. But wo unto such, for they are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity……….Why have ye transfigured the holy word of God, that ye might bring damnation upon your souls? Behold, look ye unto the revelations of God: for behold, the time cometh at that day when all these things must be fulfilled.” Now go find more advice for your self. It’s there for everyone to know if they truly want to.That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Joy Cometh in the Morning

Sometimes life can be overwhelming. It feels as if the burdens we are carrying are just too heavy to bear for even one more step. We are told to “let go and let God” which in practice is a little harder than it sounds. I wrote this poem during one of these times. Psalms 30:5—“weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” JOY COMETH IN THE MORNING I sit in my house alone. I listen to the driving rain beat against the windows. I hear the mournful wind blow against the outside walls. I see the impenetrable blackness of the night. I feel the unrelenting, crushing burden of isolation. I think, “Where is my life?” Everything that was ever important to me is gone. Who am I now? I keep looking for myself. Even the search is cumbersome. I tell myself that I am not a failure as long as I don’t give up………… But I don’t really believe it-not really- not on cold, dark, lonely, rainy nights. The ghosts of my past haunt me on such nights. Regret. The emptiness of my present engulfs me. Despair. The reality of my future leers at me. Hopelessness. Who am I now? I cling to the one truth I have not lost. I am a daughter of God. I say good night to my Father and go to bed. I’m sharing this in hopes that it might help someone somewhere to know that they are not alone in this human experience. We all have such moments. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

The Funny Farm

OMGosh! I just found out today that this year’s batch of chicks have grown up to be roosters NOT layer hens like they were supposed to! While I was feeding, a couple of them were trying to crow. One finally squawked a half decent “cock-a-doodle-do.” When I entered the henhouse I caught another one trying to “cock-a-doodle-do” one of my old biddies. She was completely confused and offended, having believed she would live and die a virgin. I googled Rhode Island Reds and armed with a pretty good picture traipsed back out to the chicken yard. Alas, it was as I feared! At least five of the ten are he’s not she’s and we think the other five might be also. I should have expected such a thing. This year has been a crazy one here at the farm. Everything has been inside out. First, we find a week old orphan kitty that seemed to come from nowhere (it doesn’t match any of the cats or other kittens around). Then, we find that one of our barn cats gave birth in a dove’s nest high in the branches of our blue spruce tree. The trees density of branches made it impossible to get to them. We had to wait for them to come down on their own. (I was glad when my husband discovered them- I had been looking up birds to find out which ones cried like a kitten.) Next, after weeks of bottle feeding our little orphan, she decided to nurse from our Jackie-poo after the puppies had found homes. I think it was a case of mutual need. Mo, who had fathered the puppies and then ignored their very existence, decided that the outside kittens couldn’t possibly survive without his fatherly guidance. As soon as they weaned, he became their sleeping cushion, playmate, protector and all round best friend. If Mo is taking a nap, anywhere or anytime, he is draped by several small black and white cats also sleeping. One of our rabbits gave birth to a litter of two which is unusual. She had five last year. Not only was it strange that her litter was so small but the babies were so big! They looked like they were 3-4 weeks old at birth. Apparently they had more room to grow or something. Our wild cats gave birth to kittens who craved human (and dog) companionship while our more tame cats gave birth to kittens who want to rip our hands off when we try to touch them! My guess is that child rebellion has now spread to the animal kingdom. I guess the signs of the times have even penetrated our private little existence here. The world is topsy-turvy and the animals know it. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Sex Sins

Not too long ago, my husband’s workplace insisted that all employees and their spouses must participate in a health assessment. We were given questionnaires to fill out. We also submitted to blood testing, weighing, measuring, and had our blood pressures taken. The results were compared to the normal health standards. At completion, we were sent personalized booklets showing the results and giving us suggestions to increase our well being. My personalized booklet says that I am overweight and my cholesterol is high. In these two areas my health is at high risk. I could be pissed that they are telling me I’m fat. (How dare they!! They don’t know me or my circumstances!! I’m so offended!) There are other areas that I am doing well and so show to be at low risk. I exercise regularly. My good cholesterol is really high. I could be complacent. (I’m doing really well in these areas so I won’t worry about the others). In short, I can choose my reaction to this assessment. Will I let it help me or not? Should I take it personally? (They all are against me because I’m fat! They hate me!) Maybe I will work very hard to get the weight charts changed because I don’t like the fact that the present standards say I’m overweight. (My weight is only a problem because the charts say it is so let’s change the standard!) God has set a standard for sexuality. Sexual relations should only occur between a man and woman who are lawfully wed. Anything and everything outside of those guidelines is in violation. Period. This is not personal. It is not hateful. It includes all types of violations- affairs, date sex, rape, molestation, living outside of wedlock, teenage experimentation, same sex, pornography, prostitution, etc. Even in a marriage, sex used inappropriately is in violation. Does God hate those who break the law? NO! Do you hate your children when they break a rule? Does He want us to hate those who break the law? NO! We can love people and not like what they do. How about if enough people get together and try to change it? Maybe I can get the weight standards changed on paper but it won’t change the fact that I am at an unhealthy weight. I could blame my condition on my genes and say that there is nothing I can do about it but that is only partly correct. Do my genes predispose me to be fat? Yes. Does that mean there is nothing I can do about it? No. It just means I have to work harder to maintain the standard. If God says that something is wrong, it doesn’t matter how many people say that it is right. This is not a democracy- what God has said He stands by. And on this subject He has always been quite clear. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

Les Miserables

I’ve been reading “Les Miserables” by Victor Hugo. I’m reading the complete and unabridged version, all 1463 pages of it! It was published in 1862 becoming an instant hit. It has continued its popularity to this day. It has been made into plays and movies. The major story is timeless but I’m finding that so are all the minor story lines. The way Hugo weaves these stories and political commentaries together is genius! The first thing that stood out to me was the quality of the education needed not only to write the book but for others to read it. I make my living with words but I found myself going to the dictionary to understand many of the words he uses. In today’s world we think we know so much more than those that came before us. This book had me thinking that we are shrinking not growing our knowledge base. The second thing was the timelessness of the stories- they could have been plucked from today’s headlines. A young single mom, abandoned by her live in partner, is forced into prostitution to keep her child cared for, a young man steals food to feed his hungry children, a foster family abuses and neglects their charge while asking for more money, a young couple fall secretly in love, those released from prison find it nearly impossible to find honest work, a convict turns to God thru the influence of a loving and kind clergyman, anything sounding familiar yet? A little girl is adopted and given a good life while a young man is disowned by his family for his political opinions, abandoned children grow up homeless and on the streets, college students party regularly at the local bar and try to solve the world’s problems, there are protests, riots and revolution in the streets against the government. The further into the book I get the more I realize that the old adage- history repeats itself- is true. I’m spending my days in the high tech world of 2012. I’m spending my nights in the rustic, provincial world of 1862. I’m not seeing much difference. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

But He Never Hit Me!

The other day I watched a seventies-era movie about spousal abuse. I remember the time when everyone looked the other way. I was a witness to spousal abuse in my friend’s families and more than a few times in my own. I was a teenage advocate against spousal violence. Then I married an abusive man. I didn’t know he was abusive because he never hit me. I didn’t know anything about emotional abuse. If I wasn’t being hit it must be o.k., right? ABSOLUTLY NOT! I remember reading a poster in a ladies room about abuse and control. It read something like “If 8 out of 10 of these things apply to you- you are in an abusive relationship.” I thought they had to be wrong! I couldn’t be in an abusive relationship. It was impossible! How stupid we can be about the people we love! I thought that he just needed to learn better relationship skills. I thought that I wasn’t doing something right. I thought that if I lost weight, got up earlier, worked harder, prayed more, the list is endless. But because he let me know all the time how inadequate I was, I believed it had to be MY fault. I even taught my children to love and respect him while he was teaching them to condemn and criticize me. How twisted is that? Especially now. As they have grown into adulthood they have believed him- I am the crazy one, I am the reason for all their problems. I finally came to see the situation for what is was almost ten years ago. But only after I went for help to fix MY “craziness”. Several years of counseling, therapy, group discussions, etc. opened my eyes to the truth. And six years of being with a caring, respectful man has opened my heart to see even better the endless abuse in that other relationship. Watching this movie made me cringe- with the exception of the hitting scenes- the rest looked exactly like my life. She spoke to a man at a party- he was sure they were having an affair. She tried to put a stop to the abuse- it was her “new” friends that put her up to it, she just needed to stop seeing them. She spent too much time with the children, what was she really doing when she was shopping, why didn’t she answer the phone when he called, etc. Mine even told me that he believed that some of our children were not his. I stayed with him for four more years after this. I still thought it must be something I was or wasn’t doing to make him think this way! Again, how stupid can we be? But the ultimate feeling I had while watching this “horror” movie was profound gratitude that I no longer live that way. I felt gratitude to my wonderful companion today, gratitude to God, gratitude to all who helped me see the way out. My husband says- “It’s so nice to have a joyful, peaceful place to be after a hard day at work.” I agree completely. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

To Chick-fil-a or not to Chick-fil-a?

I suppose that every one has heard about the Chick-fil-a controversy but just in case you haven’t here’s the story. The CEO of a growing fast food chicken restaurant shared his belief that God would not support America if we let gay marriages continue. This brought a whirlwind of criticism down upon him and moreover upon the Chick-fil-a franchises all over the country. There has been media, public and political out cry at his statements. Calls have been made to boycott the stores. More disturbing have been a number of politicians that have committed to work to keep this chain from coming to their cities. To me the whole point of the controversy is the fact that there should be NO controversy. Isn’t this America, the country that was founded by people seeking religious freedom? Pilgrims escaping to this unknown land did so to establish the right of a man to worship or not worship God in whatever way he chooses. Being able to publicly state our personal and religious beliefs is the foundation we are built on. This CEO is not running for office. He is not a public figure. He owns his own business- who cares what his beliefs are? If you like his food than eat it, if you don’t like it than don’t but his personal beliefs should not have anything to do with it. There are those who are making this an issue about gay rights. It isn’t! It is an issue of freedom of speech. It is an issue of religious freedom. Those interested in gay or any other rights should be defending this man’s rights if they want the same respect and freedom for their beliefs. Has anybody thought of this man’s employees and the difficulties now in their lives because of this controversy. Just hard working Americans trying to get by each day. Some are probably even gay. By all means, let’s put more people out of work by boycotting their workplace. As for politicians pledging to keep the store from their towns- you don’t deserve to be in office, you were elected to uphold the laws of this country or don’t you remember? That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?

It's been awhile.....

Hello to all my blogging fans (that is if I still have any)!! I have been absent a year trying to break into the publishing world. What a roller coaster ride that has been! I was accepted in two small town papers. I was told by the editors that “My Side of the Street” was fresh, original and definitely written with my own voice. They loved it! But nothing ever happened. Not only did it not get printed, I was given no reason. To be truthful, my e-mails and calls were flat out ignored. So I sent dozens of letters and samples to dozens of publications. One of my blogs did get printed as a guest column. I received one rejection letter. Mostly I got a whole lot of nothing. It seems to be the same old story. Publications will not accept unsolicited material. It must go through an agent. But an agent will not accept an unpublished writer. And the wheels on the bus go round and round. So here I am, humbled, frustrated and depressed crawling back to you faithful few who kept me going. I have discovered that a writer needs readers to feel like a writer. I can go through reams of paper but its just trash if I don’t have someone to read and validate. I also feel like a colossal idiot because of course I let it be known that I was getting a newspaper column. Chalk up one more failure and lots of egg on my face. One thing I didn’t expect was the isolation and loneliness I was to feel during this year. Physically I am almost always alone anyway but with no one to share my thoughts and feelings I was crushed by the sense of emptiness that now accompanied my constant alone time. So I admit- I need you, my readers, to validate me as a person and as a writer. I need to believe that someone somewhere cares about my thoughts or I run the danger of not thinking them. I have felt a sense of ennui in a way I have never before felt. Sp please forgive my absence. Make time in your so busy lives for me again. And please if you like this site, recommend it to others as often as you can. I feel a little like Tinkerbell dying on the floor. Clap, clap, clap and bring me back to life. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?