There was a day, about five years ago, when I was feeling especially alone. I had given custody of my two youngest daughters to their father. Their older siblings had chosen to alienate themselves from me. My husband was on a long haul trip and I was miserable! I decided to try pulling myself out of the dumps by going to one of my favorite stores and getting something special. It had helped in the past.
Soon after entering the store I realized that this was a bad idea. The store was full of things I love- music, books, pictures, etc. The problem was that everything was about family. Plaques read “Families are forever” and “Families are like quilts” or “My forever family”. These things probably should have given me comfort but the wounds were still too raw. Each thing I saw seemed to scream- “You don’t have a family anymore!”
I struggled to keep from falling apart in the middle of the store. I hurt so very much. Wasn’t there anything I could find to hang on to? Was I always going to hurt this badly? I didn’t even know where some of my grown children were or if I would ever see them again. I felt so very lost.
I hid in a corner and poured my pain out in prayer. I asked, “Who am I now? What am I supposed to do with all this love no one wants and all this pain I don’t want? Is there anything left of me? My family was everything! I am so lost.”
I opened my eyes and began to head for the door when I saw a small wood plaque all by itself on a bookshelf. It looked as if it had been laid down for a moment and forgotten but I knew better. It had been laid there for me. It was exactly my style and taste. It had a drawing of a quirky angel on it. Below the angel were these words- “We are never so lost that angels can’t find us.”
This statement comforted and assured that not only am I not lost neither are my children. I might not know where they are but my Heavenly Father does. He can send them angels. He can send me angels. He can send you angels. No matter how lost we might be or feel.
That plaque is on the wall directly behind me as I write this. I look at it often. It has brought comfort on numerous occasions but never so much as that particular day when a broken heart needed direct intervention and received it. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Soon after entering the store I realized that this was a bad idea. The store was full of things I love- music, books, pictures, etc. The problem was that everything was about family. Plaques read “Families are forever” and “Families are like quilts” or “My forever family”. These things probably should have given me comfort but the wounds were still too raw. Each thing I saw seemed to scream- “You don’t have a family anymore!”
I struggled to keep from falling apart in the middle of the store. I hurt so very much. Wasn’t there anything I could find to hang on to? Was I always going to hurt this badly? I didn’t even know where some of my grown children were or if I would ever see them again. I felt so very lost.
I hid in a corner and poured my pain out in prayer. I asked, “Who am I now? What am I supposed to do with all this love no one wants and all this pain I don’t want? Is there anything left of me? My family was everything! I am so lost.”
I opened my eyes and began to head for the door when I saw a small wood plaque all by itself on a bookshelf. It looked as if it had been laid down for a moment and forgotten but I knew better. It had been laid there for me. It was exactly my style and taste. It had a drawing of a quirky angel on it. Below the angel were these words- “We are never so lost that angels can’t find us.”
This statement comforted and assured that not only am I not lost neither are my children. I might not know where they are but my Heavenly Father does. He can send them angels. He can send me angels. He can send you angels. No matter how lost we might be or feel.
That plaque is on the wall directly behind me as I write this. I look at it often. It has brought comfort on numerous occasions but never so much as that particular day when a broken heart needed direct intervention and received it. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
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