Reality

Two of my daughters were spinning fantasy webs this morning. One is going to become a famous writer. The other will be a famous singer. Both will make lots of money and buy me a mansion with “ginormous” rooms. One mentioned that her mansion would have maid service and that I would never have to work or clean again. This brought an immediate, fervent reply from her sister, “Mom would hate that. She loves to work and clean!”


At this point in the conversation, I interjected one short statement that totally rocked their world. If any of my other children are reading this, they need to sit down. I HATE CLEANING!!!! I went on to state that the two things I hate the most are laundry and dishes. “But you do them the most”, was their reply.

Yes, I do. I also have spent years scrubbing toilets, changing diapers, cleaning up puke (animal and human) and all sorts of other equally disgusting jobs. I have pulled out ticks, pried off bloodsuckers and picked out enough nits (lice eggs) to qualify me as serious competition in any ape family. I have dug threw countless bags of stinky, rotten, sometimes maggoty garbage looking for homework, earrings, money, teeth retainers, etc. All of this with what used to be a really quick gag reflex.

WHY??? The obvious answer is- SOMEBODY had to do it. The easy answer is -because I’m Mom, that’s my job. The real answer is- that I hate dirty kitchens, dirty clothes, and dirty kids MORE than I hate the work. I can’t do the things I LOVE to do. I can’t cook in a dirty kitchen, I can’t wear dirty clothes and I can’t cuddle dirty children.

HOW??? The obvious answer is- you get used to it. The easy answer is- moms don’t mind gross things because they love you. The real answer is a little hard to explain. It’s kind of a Jedi mind thing- you learn to focus on something other than what you are actually doing. Instead of thinking about how disgusting the poop, throw up, bugs, etc. are you focus on the person you are giving that service to.

Let me give you an example. A few years ago, we had an extended family campout together. There was a swimming hole at the campsite that included mud and bloodsuckers (leeches). We were hot enough that despite fear, most of us went in. The first one out of the water was freaked by the small muddy things on her legs and panic ensued. I calmly pulled every leech off every child.

When I got to the last one, I held it in my hand long enough for each person there to examine it closely. My husband and stepson were very impressed with my ability to do so. What they didn’t know was how grossed out I was by the slimy wiggling bloody thing!! I was more concerned that the children have a good learning experience. Boy, did the two of them laugh when lesson over, kids gone, I screamed and flung the damn thing as far away as I could.

Maybe it IS just a mom thing. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?