9/11 memories

My 9/11 memories are very similar to others. Shock, pain, sorrow, grief, anger and miracles are among them. For me, that day changed life as I had known it and catapulted me into an unexpected and unseen future. I, too, lost loved ones….. not to the fiery deaths of so many that day but to the evil and indifference that had caused those deaths.
The morning started as usual getting children ready for school. For some still unknown reason, one of them had turned on the television. It was not hooked up to anything but a VCR. We never received a channel. That day, however, the local FOX station was coming in clearly. I told someone to shut it off.
“Mom, you’ve got to come see this- we’ve been bombed!”??? I thought. I stepped into the living room just in time to witness the falling of the second tower. “Oh, dear God, help them!” I muttered. We watched for a few moments then I gathered my children together to pray for all those in New York. Then they headed off to school.
I watched a few more minutes before I woke my husband. “You have to come see this. We are at war!” He stumbled out, watched for about ten minutes, told me not to bother him again and headed back to bed. I realized that working 2nd shift was taking its toll but I could not believe his indifference to this monumentus event. That indifference did not change over that week or ever.
I spent the day in front of the TV, crying, praying, wondering, as did so many others. My children, too, had all had coverage on in their classrooms. We watched as flights were canceled. We watched as coverage included D.C and Pennsylvania. We watched for three days until the TV stopped receiving just as unexpectedly as it had begun.
I called my family all over the US. They called me. Late in the day, we finally made contact and reassured each other. My husband, at no time, showed interest in any of this. It was at that time I realized that the underlying feelings of disconnection I had been feeling for so long were real. He was no longer part of our family.
Within three months he left but not until he had dropped a few very destructive bombs of his own. One such bomb found me coming home with a carload of kids and groceries only to be met by two police officers. They informed me that I had fifteen supervised minutes to pack my things and leave the premises. Apparently, my husband had spent the day in court convincing a judge that I was a danger so he could get a restraining order against me!! There was no history, police or otherwise, and I was completely shocked that he was able to do this!
I threw some things in a Wal-Mart bag trying hard to think. My children were crying, screaming and one actually assaulted her dad. I gathered them in my arms for ten of the fifteen moments trying to assure them that everything was alright. We prayed and I left.
I had no where to go and no money to get there! Friends and family pitched in. This lasted for one week. He gave up when he realized that he couldn’t go to work AND take care of a houseful of hostile children including a devastated one year old. It went down hill from there and now, ten years later, the battle is still raging even though I have removed myself from it.
The events of 9/11 changed us as Americans. We felt vulnerable in ways we never had before. We also felt empowered- no one will ever do that again- we will not allow it! I have been through my own war, I, too, feel vulnerable but after all is said and done, I have been empowered, also. It will never happen again!
That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?