A recent situation with a teenage daughter caused me a bit of thought. We were heading to a favorite store for some much needed summer clothes. I had my eleven year old, my thirteen year old and her friend, all girls. I gave very specific instructions to each girl-my youngest needed shirts, she had plenty of pants- her sister needed pants, she had plenty of tops, all clothes needed to be modest and as money was tight, I asked them to shop the 50% off section. I even allowed the friend some money for her shopping.
The friend stayed within the allotted budget. My youngest found a number of appropriate shirts on the discount rack. Her sister, however, disregarded every rule- she showed up with a handful of tops, full price, immodest, and one pair of skimpy tight shorts.
As I reissued the “rules” and nixed the choices, she became very angry and stormed off. Twenty minutes later she was back with more of the same. At this point, she broke into tears when I firmly said no. She began to rant and rave about my unfairness, reminding me yet again of all my failings as a parent. Well, you probably get the picture. She was the only one to walk out of the store empty handed.
As we drove home, I found myself once again pondering teenage angst. I confess that the insensibility of it confuses me. I had made the “rules” clear, (several times), how could she be mad at ME? SHE was the one that chose not to follow them. Why am I always the bad guy for sticking to and enforcing them?
Under my breath, I chanted my favorite teenage parent mantra for what was probably the 10,000th time, “Parents are the teething ring that teenagers cut their adult teeth on.” It didn’t help much as this particular teen was still chewing pretty hard from the back seat.
Suddenly, my mind saw the planet Earth with its population of “teenagers” all being pretty pissed off at God because we don’t want to follow the rules. And even more pissed off because there are consequences! We argue till we are blue in the face- it’s not fair….I don’t want to……you like her better than me…why me…stop telling me what to do….etc. etc.
But we have a loving parent who has made the rules clear. He has made the consequences clear. He has even made the perks clear. And yet we continue to berate his plan. We think we have a better idea or we just want what we want without any problems. Instead of following the laid out plan we make up our own as we go along……and then get furious when we walk out of the store with nothing.
I think we are blaming the wrong person. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
The friend stayed within the allotted budget. My youngest found a number of appropriate shirts on the discount rack. Her sister, however, disregarded every rule- she showed up with a handful of tops, full price, immodest, and one pair of skimpy tight shorts.
As I reissued the “rules” and nixed the choices, she became very angry and stormed off. Twenty minutes later she was back with more of the same. At this point, she broke into tears when I firmly said no. She began to rant and rave about my unfairness, reminding me yet again of all my failings as a parent. Well, you probably get the picture. She was the only one to walk out of the store empty handed.
As we drove home, I found myself once again pondering teenage angst. I confess that the insensibility of it confuses me. I had made the “rules” clear, (several times), how could she be mad at ME? SHE was the one that chose not to follow them. Why am I always the bad guy for sticking to and enforcing them?
Under my breath, I chanted my favorite teenage parent mantra for what was probably the 10,000th time, “Parents are the teething ring that teenagers cut their adult teeth on.” It didn’t help much as this particular teen was still chewing pretty hard from the back seat.
Suddenly, my mind saw the planet Earth with its population of “teenagers” all being pretty pissed off at God because we don’t want to follow the rules. And even more pissed off because there are consequences! We argue till we are blue in the face- it’s not fair….I don’t want to……you like her better than me…why me…stop telling me what to do….etc. etc.
But we have a loving parent who has made the rules clear. He has made the consequences clear. He has even made the perks clear. And yet we continue to berate his plan. We think we have a better idea or we just want what we want without any problems. Instead of following the laid out plan we make up our own as we go along……and then get furious when we walk out of the store with nothing.
I think we are blaming the wrong person. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
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