I’m going to share with you a real life survivor story. It’s mine. I share it with much reluctance. I am in hopes that readers will see a survivor not a victim. I am also laying a foundation for some future blogs that will have more meaning if this story is known.
My birth father left the picture before I turned a year old. I have never met him. I was being raised as an only child by a single mom back in the sixties when single parents and only children were still a rarity. When I was about 8, a single dad with two daughters moved into our neighborhood. I thought it was a dream come true when our parents were married, instant family to a heart hungry little girl. It was more like a nightmare.
Our parents drank…a lot and fought….a lot. My stepfather turned out to be a predator of the worst kind. No little girl escaped his clutch, his own daughters, me, cousins, friends, all were fair game to him. This continued for years.
I started drinking at the age of 11. Easy to do when you have alcoholic parents, they never missed it. I was an alcoholic myself by age 16. My sisters had both been kicked out of the family by then but a younger brother and sister had been born.
I experimented with some drugs. It was the 70’s after all but mostly I drank as much and as often as I could. Those years weren’t pretty. I left home two days after I graduated and tried to build a life but my addiction kept sucking me in until I had my first child and joined the church.
I have been married four times. My first husband died during our ninth year together. I left my second (abusive) husband after 18 years. My third was a rebound that lasted about 9 months and my fourth marriage looks like it just might be forever.
I have given birth to 9 living children. I had two stillbirths and two miscarriages. I have contact with only three of those children, (their choice not mine). I haven’t seen or talked to some of my sons for over six years. I have grandchildren I will probably never see or know.
I gave up custody of my youngest children to end a destructive court battle. I have my two youngest daughters for four days a month. They live in a home with a very different belief system than mine.
I have been diagnosed with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. Go figure, right? Also, I’ve been told that I have borderline personality disorder although I’m told that I keep it under control pretty well.
I have thyroid problems as well as fibromyalgia. I have bad dreams. So between the fibro and PTSD, sleep isn’t something I get much of. Again, I’m just sharing this to lay the foundation for some future blogs. As I share some of my life’s lessons, I want you to know that I have indeed been there, done that.
And on top of all of this I want to say that it’s all good! Life is good! It’s what we make of it that counts. Each day is a new one with no mistakes in it yet…what will you do with yours? Me? I’m going out to enjoy the October sky. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
My birth father left the picture before I turned a year old. I have never met him. I was being raised as an only child by a single mom back in the sixties when single parents and only children were still a rarity. When I was about 8, a single dad with two daughters moved into our neighborhood. I thought it was a dream come true when our parents were married, instant family to a heart hungry little girl. It was more like a nightmare.
Our parents drank…a lot and fought….a lot. My stepfather turned out to be a predator of the worst kind. No little girl escaped his clutch, his own daughters, me, cousins, friends, all were fair game to him. This continued for years.
I started drinking at the age of 11. Easy to do when you have alcoholic parents, they never missed it. I was an alcoholic myself by age 16. My sisters had both been kicked out of the family by then but a younger brother and sister had been born.
I experimented with some drugs. It was the 70’s after all but mostly I drank as much and as often as I could. Those years weren’t pretty. I left home two days after I graduated and tried to build a life but my addiction kept sucking me in until I had my first child and joined the church.
I have been married four times. My first husband died during our ninth year together. I left my second (abusive) husband after 18 years. My third was a rebound that lasted about 9 months and my fourth marriage looks like it just might be forever.
I have given birth to 9 living children. I had two stillbirths and two miscarriages. I have contact with only three of those children, (their choice not mine). I haven’t seen or talked to some of my sons for over six years. I have grandchildren I will probably never see or know.
I gave up custody of my youngest children to end a destructive court battle. I have my two youngest daughters for four days a month. They live in a home with a very different belief system than mine.
I have been diagnosed with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. Go figure, right? Also, I’ve been told that I have borderline personality disorder although I’m told that I keep it under control pretty well.
I have thyroid problems as well as fibromyalgia. I have bad dreams. So between the fibro and PTSD, sleep isn’t something I get much of. Again, I’m just sharing this to lay the foundation for some future blogs. As I share some of my life’s lessons, I want you to know that I have indeed been there, done that.
And on top of all of this I want to say that it’s all good! Life is good! It’s what we make of it that counts. Each day is a new one with no mistakes in it yet…what will you do with yours? Me? I’m going out to enjoy the October sky. That’s the view from my side of the street, what’s yours?
Kathy, You are so courageous to say all of this. I hope that it frees you from some of the pain you have suffered, so undeserved. Know that you are loved and don't let anyone suppress your spirit. Patty
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